Naked Chess

While at the World Open in the early 2oughts to help sell books & equipment, a friend asked me to go outside to the smoking area. I told him I did not smoke, but he insisted I go outside, not for a cigarette, but to listen to the cellphone conversations. Out I went to hear things like, "But what if he plays Bd5?", and, "You mean I can't play Bishop takes on f7? Shit!" Players would burst out the door with phone in hand, held next to an ear. Some would light-up; some not. There were so many doing it that no one tried to hide what they were doing.

It was then I began to tell chess people that the only way to stop cheating would be to have 'nekkid' chess tournaments. I was only half joking. There is no orafice large enough to accommadate hiding a cellphone. Then came bluetooth...Now there are Grandmaster rated free programs on the internet that can be held in your hand. I have written that all 'gizmos' should be eradicated from the playing hall if tournament chess is to survive. After listening to Michio Kaku, the Henry Semat Professor of Theoretical Physics in the City College of New York of City University of New York, and the co-founder of string field theory, on Coast to Coast AM a few nights ago, I realize that will not work. Not even 'nekkid' chess can stop the future. You see, in his new book, Physics of the Future: How Science Will Shape Human Destiny and Our Daily Lives by the Year 2100, Professor Kaku writes that in the near future the internet will be brougt to you on a contact lens! Talk about hiding in plain site...Tournament chess is doomed. DOOMED!